Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Love letter to Safeway Inc.


Dear Friends at Safeway Inc.,

I just wanted to take some time out of my day to send a letter of commendation to you and your masterful bakers for a truly amazing product! Let me tell you about our Father’s Day surprise…
On Sunday, my husband and I and our two daughters were in our garage gathering up camping equipment and making a list of food needed for our fishing trip next weekend. We were rummaging through boxes to find our gear when my oldest daughter pulled forth from the bowels of the garage a bag of Safeway Enriched Hot Dog Buns.
“Someone already bought the buns!” she stated.
“Did you buy those?” I asked my husband.
“I didn’t buy ‘em.” He replied
“We’ll, where did they come from?”
We stood, wondering. The silence was broken when my daughter exclaimed, “These are from last summer!!! I remember when we bought them!”
Dumbfounded, I grabbed the bag and pulled out a bun. What should have been rock hard, fuzzed with green and stinking was still soft and fresh!!! Those buns were as well preserved as Sophia Loren! You should have seen the amazement on everyone’s faces! To think! After one year of sitting at the bottom of a box in our damp garage, those buns were still moist and unsullied! My husband, a former baker and pastry chef, was humbled. His own artisan bread was hard and funky after only a couple days. One just has to wonder about what those magical and mysterious “other wholesome ingredients” must be…

What an unexpected discovery! One less thing to buy at the store, and now, dinner was decided! After cheering and high fives all around we had a big family hug and raced upstairs to find some hotdogs. The bakers you employ are to be praised. May they continue to work their magic in bakeries across America, and beyond! ! “Ingredients for life”, indeed!
Thank you, Safeway Bakers, for making our Father’s Day extra special.

Yours Truly,

Diedre Oppings

7 comments:

Anet said...

They must have some mighty fine preservatives in them. Holy crap!
I'm glad I'm allergic to wheat:)

Sharon said...

Hilarious!!! Where are your mice???

RunninL8 said...

They're scared of the buns? They know an evil thing when they sense it!

Tammy said...

Oh my gosh. ROFLOL!

So funny. And sickeningly gross.

Dawn said...

OMG! That's pretty funny/gross ;0

Design Diva said...

I just practically peed my pants!!! Totally loved the 'ingredients for life' phrase!
Tracie

tundratantrum said...

Yummy. Must be some kind of wacked out hybrid cross between a pilot cracker and a hot dog bun.

I'd a eaten 'em too. Safeway buns cost 6 bucks in Kotzebue.